Creativity Power Rankings, Take Two!

By Michael Klink

@michael_klink

Welcome back Brothers of Discussion fans! According to the Internet Wrestling Community (as well as AEW signee Jon Moxley) WWE is a creative wasteland where good ideas go to die.  But fear not, your brave Brothers of Discussion have looked high and low, sitting through 8 plus hours of WWE wrestling, and found at least 4.5 segments worthy of your attention.  

This week’s entries to the Power Rankings transcend past WWE and tickle the interests of the casual wrestling fan and even casual fan of all things considered “entertainment”. They’re a celebration of the quirky, the oddments, the tweaks, and swerves.

They’re segments that you’re surprised even made it past the writer’s room on a drunken evening of debauchery. Ladies and gentlemen, the Creativity Power Rankings:

5) Sami Zayn Takes Questions from “The Critics”

WWE debuted a new segment where fans from the audience were given a microphone and free reign to ask Sami Zayn any question they could think of.  The premise is promising, but the first batch of questions was a little lackluster, earning well-deserved heckling from Sami ie, “Why aren’t you Universal Champion?”) . Sami scoffed at the questions the fans provided and told them they missed an opportunity to ask about (gasp!) AEW!

This segment makes the list because it involves giving the professional wrestling fans a microphone. Is it likely that at least one of the people asking questions was a plant? Sure! But that doesn’t mean that the segment didn’t have an opportunity for hiccups to occur (heck, professionals getting paid to wield microphones make mistakes). Due to the risks involved with live fan interaction, this segment cracks the list.

4) WWE Very Creatively Edits Out the AEW Portion of Sami’s Promo

So much for mentioning the competition on tv. The editing department at WWE gets the nod this week for very cleverly replacing the AEW drop by Sami with the word “crap” followed by Seth Rollins’ music cranked up to eleven.

In addition, which producer decided an “electric chair” was the most appropriate chair for Sami to sit in? If we’re grilling Sami, that means he’s still under trial, and the electric chair is when judgment has already been passed.

Since Sami is the “critic of the critics”, I’d have gone with something similar to what Siskel & Ebert used, a plush easy chair or two with a kickback setting in order to better help you pontificate. Perhaps a computer gaming chair and a laptop? To further symbolize the toxic wrestling fan’s setup at home?

For now, with the flaws in an otherwise risky and fun segment, Sami and the producers come in at number four.

3) Mike Kanellis Wears Emotions On His Sleeves, and Family on his Jacket

I get flack all the time for not taking enough pictures with my girlfriend. She doesn’t seem to understand that if I take pictures of us, I’ll have less room on my phone for WWE Network stills for these articles.

Anyway, Kanellis sets the bar (apologies to Cesaro & Sheamus) for family photos by getting his wife and baby air-brushed onto the back of his ring attire.

I don’t know why more wrestlers don’t take advantage of air-brush technology. Air-brushing has helped Velveteen request a call-up (“Call Me Up Vince”) and presumably gotten Ryback extra portions of protein powder (“Feed Me More”).

Off the top of my head, here’s some free golden air-brush ideas: Drew McIntyre getting an air-brushed image of nude Burt Reynolds (they have the same body hair); Big E would air-brush his latest Tweet (he really deserves a social media award); and lastly, Finn Balor could get a written explanation on why he doesn’t go undefeated as the Demon. Oh, and it’s written in size 2 font, so the camera has to zoom in on his butt.

2) Bray Wyatt’s “Firefly Fun House” debuts “The Fiend”

It’s no surprise that the latest “Firefly Fun House” cracks the list since this gimmick inspired the creation of the Creativity Power Rankings.  Bray’s journey down the Rambling Rabbit-hole continued with an explanation that “The Fiend” side of Bray is here to protect us.  

We also learned that “Fun House” mainstay Abby the Witch isn’t allowed to “rest” and that she’s stuck in “limbo”. Naturally, it’s time for a Yowie Wowie and a queuing up of children holding up a limbo stick!

The segments are building to a salivating fever pitch. With shades of “PeeWee’s Playhouse”, “Eraserhead”, and now Dante’s “Divine Comedy”, the writing team is totally hitting its stride with Bray. It’s a shame that the writer spear-heading these fascinating nightmares couldn’t get a hold of Dean Ambrose’s character trajectory before his departure.

1) The Debut of Brock Party

It’s a breath of fresh air to get a little personality out of Brock Lesnar.  We rarely get to see him appear on television, let alone give us a dance routine with new entrance music. Would he be able to defeat R-Truth in a dance contest anytime soon?  Probably not. Did he do enough to climb to the top of this week’s rankings? Yes.